You may even check your genitals for signs of arousal. You check where your hands are to make sure that you won’t accidentally touch a child inappropriately and you are on guard and panicked that you will experience more intrusive thoughts that suggest feelings for children. You find yourself avoiding eye contact with everyone.
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You will now be acutely aware and on guard for whether there were any intrusive thoughts present. You glance over at the children and, out of the blue, a thought enters your head: “Did I just look at those kids in a creepy way?” Your brain immediately begins to doubt and analyze whether your glance was creepy and you are flooded with terror: “Why would I be staring at kids?” “Do other people do this?” “Was I physically attracted to one of them?” “Is there something wrong with me?” “Did I do something inappropriate?” “Did I get aroused by the children?” “Am I a pedophile?” “Am I going to become a pedophile?” “What does this mean that I am even thinking these thoughts?”Ĭontinue to imagine that you find yourself yet again walking by the school playground. Imagine one day that you are walking past an elementary school playground. This article was initially published in the Winter 2016 edition of the OCD Newsletter. He specializes in the treatment of Anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder including violent and sexual obsessions. Jordan Levy is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Manhattan and in Livingston, New Jersey.
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Am I a Monster? An Overview of Common Features, Typical Course, Shame and Treatment of Pedophilia OCD (pOCD)ĭr.